Self-Care

I was right in my earlier post. He did sneak out to continue his bender. I mean, wouldn't you think it was weird if someone had been drinking all day and then just decided to go to campus to study for an exam the next day? I thought so. The good news is he came home while I was in class, so at least I don't have to worry about him getting another DUI, or worse.

Before I left for class, I said the Serenity Prayer and tried to calm myself down. I couldn't change what he was doing; I could only change what I was doing. I decided to stop obsessing about him and go to class. That's major progress for me. I was able to step back and be rational enough to choose something that would be a distraction from the present situation. I also refrained from shirking responsibility in that I went to class and learned important material, as opposed to staying home and wallowing in my own feelings.

The meeting topic last Sunday at Al-Anon was self-care. One of the slogans someone shared was that self-care reflected our HP's love for us. In taking care of myself and my needs, I was reflecting God's love for me. God believes me to be deserving of good things, and I am in a unique position to work for those good things. For instance, when I came home from the meeting last Sunday, I immediately changed into my workout clothes and went for a run around the neighborhood. I didn't get very far, and in fact my stamina is way down from what it was, but that didn't matter. What did matter was that I carved out time to take care of my body and my health. I deserve health and wellness and I deserve a body that is capable of running, jumping, swimming, biking, and enjoying life. God knows this, and the only thing I can do is set my mind to achieving those things for myself. God also knows I deserve to eat good food and live in a clean house and gain knowledge, so I must decide to get off my ass and buy groceries, do dishes, and study.

This is what self-care is all about. I am still learning and trying to understand God, but meanwhile (s)he loves me and wants me to take care of myself. This is what's going to improve my life, one day at a time.

Yours in recovery,
Sal Anonymous